If Only Tears Could Bring You Back To Me
by Virgil's grl
Summary: Sleep escapes me, my body aches, my mind is tired, but still no darkness will comsume me. I close my eyes and your smirking face appears I miss you Dean Samcentric fic


**Title:** If Only Tears Could Bring You Back To Me

**Summary:** _Sleep escapes me, my body aches, my mind is tired and yet no sleep will come to me, everytime I close my eyes a vision of your face comes to mind, your brave, smirking face._ – Sam-centric fic.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything/one/place, that is/will be/was in Supernatural.

**A/N:** I will say thank-you to my friend Carla who sat with me and worked out all of these and agreed to be put in here under a false name. Also hugs to all who review.

**2nd A/N:** Uh guys just so you know the italics after a quotation mark (") mean's Sam's thoughts, when it is "_between two_" It'd emphasis. Ok? Cool? Plz R&R VGxx

–**Sam POV–**

I can't sleep. I don't know but it just does not come. I lay here on my back, looking up at the ceiling. The very same ceiling that you looked at only last week. In the next room I can hear crying. I get up investigate, knowing what I will find before I even leave the bed.

"Katie?" I push open the door of the room and find your Katherine crying again. Charli is next to her holding her and rocking her back and forth.

"Sam? Oh Sammy!" Katherine jumps up and wraps her arms around me as if I'm crying as well. I put my arms around her to add to her comfort and I can feel her shaking. She's one of the only people I haven't yelled at for calling me 'Sammy' she remind of Mom maybe that's why.

"Sam, she had another nightmare about…you know." I do know. Her nightmare was about you. About how you left us. About how you left me. We miss you.

"It was my fault I know it was." Katherine says after Charli leaves the room and goes back to her room.

"Sweetie it wasn't. It'll never be your fault Katie." I tell her hugging her tighter; I know that because you had drilled that into my head didn't you. So that's what I tell Katherine. It's not her fault you're dead. It's mine.

"Then whose fault is it Sam's? Is it his fault?' _partly_ "Yours? Sam it is _my_ fault!" She tell me. I shake my head. It will never be her fault.

"Katie! It is _not_ your fault! It is my fault! It is Dean's fault! We are both to blame but you aren't." I tell her strongly. Katie stares at me total disbelief shining in her eyes.

"How is it yours and his?" She asks. I sit down next to her as she falls back down onto her bed. It's hers now you're gone. I put an arm around her and she rests her head on my shoulder.

"It's mine because I wasn't there, it's his, because Dean didn't wait for me to get there. He should've waited for help from someone, but being Dean he didn't." I tell her she starts to cry again this time I start to cry to. Katherine is sobbing openly while I let my tears fall silently. I hear a song start to play in my head as I cry. I close my eyes and I get another image of your brave, smirking face looking at me. 'Come on Sammy,' you say 'It'll be fun. Just a few drinks.' I warn you that Katherine won't like it but you convince me. That's why you're smiling at me. You always had a way to convince people, not just me and dad and Jessica and any other girl too with that evil smile of yours. The song that plays as i watch your smirking face in my head...

_How will I start_

_To move on without you here?_

_Who's heart will guide me?_

_Will all the answers disappear?_

_Is it too late?_

_Are you too far gone to stay?_

_This one's forever_

_Should never have to go away_

_What will I do?_

_You know I'm only half without you_

_How will I make it through?_

_If only tears could bring you back to me_

_If only love could find a way_

_What I would do_

_What I would give_

_If you_

_Return to me_

_Someday_

_Somehow_

_Someway_

_If my tears could bring you back_

_To me_

_I've cried you an ocean_

_If you'll sail on home again_

_Waves of emotion_

_Will carry you and only can_

_Just let flow guide you_

_And your heart will chart the course_

_Soon you'll be drifting_

_Into the arms of your true north_

_Look in my eyes you'll see_

_A million tears have gone by_

_And still they're not dry_

_If only tears could bring you back to me_

_If only love could find a way_

_What I would do_

_What I would give_

_If you_

_Return to me_

_Someday_

_Somehow_

_Someway_

_If my tears could bring you back_

_To me_

_I hold you close_

_And shout the words_

_I only whispered before_

_For one more chance_

_For one last dance_

_Inside of me_

_Than I would like to know_

_If only tears could bring you back to me_

_If only love could find a way_

_What I would do_

_What I would give_

_If you_

_Return to me_

_Someday_

_Somehow_

_Someway_

_If my tears could bring you back_

_To me_

_If only tears could bring you back to me_

I return to my room shortly after Katherine falls asleep again. I curl up under the covers like I'm 4 years old again, wishing my older brother was here, beside me keeping me warm, telling me there's nothing to be afraid of, that I'll be safe with him. I close my eyes but the darkness refuses to conquer me.

Sleep escapes me, my body aches, my mind is tired and yet no sleep will come to me, everytime I close my eyes a vision of your face comes to mind, your brave, smirking face. I miss you Dean. If only tears could bring you back to me tonight.

**Wow! Sorry guys! I have to stop it there. Tell me what you thought. I can barely see the keys to type this! I'm crying so much. If you want to know how Dean died look out for "A memory worth forgetting" it'll be the story in which one of our favourite Winchester's dies…coming soon!**

**Plz R&R VGxx**


End file.
